When the shit hits the fan its good to know how you will react to dire circumstances. I was tested tonight and I'd like to think I passed, although I know I wasn't an A student. Unfortunately my crisis management skills have been finely honed in the last year and I regret having to put them to use. I handled myself in a cool and composed manner while it was necessary and I offered my assistance wherever possible. I have also come to realize that the police have a very human face to them and they are really can help.

I still could have done more. I helped a friend to make one of the hardest decisions of our lives, but I still left her to take care of it. I should have offered to do it myself, but I was afraid. Even in a pinch my ability to delegate remains intact, though I get the distinct impression that delegating is not always the best choice. I hope and pray that I will never have to look back on this criticism of myself and learn from these minor mistakes.

As for coping, that is probably my biggest failure right now. I had to remove myself once the situation was sufficiently in control and attempt to put my mind elsewhere. I plan to make some calls and make sense of all of this in my mind, but as of yet I have not. I have been very capable of coping with messed up situations in the past and lets hope this is no different. In the meantime I fell back upon a friend, a bit of alcohol and some tobacco. Only one of these things is advisable in a situation like this, but I couldn't help but find them all comforting for tonight.