cooking for the masses always astonishes me. In the end I feel so dis-satisfied and so tired. The knees aren't what they used to be...

oh man obesity is like a secondary accent. You can sound like you are from Boston and also sound obese.

I have almost everything I need to look like a real texan. Any day now my Camaro Z28 belt buckle should arrive and when it does I will be the hick everyone is talking about. I can see it now, California Carl's Wild Wild West Show!