Upon successfully completing a drive across the United States I was sure that some epiphany would befall me as a result of increased consciousness. I was unprepared for what it would eventually be and what would eventually bring it on. Even after nearly as many hours spent waiting for planes in airports as hours spent on planes, I couldn't have guessed what my breakthrough would be.

The truth came to me while standing with my bags at the curb of the Oakland Airport. More precisely it came upon entering the back door of a BMW. The problem is that the BMW I expected to pick me up didn't have four doors, it had two. The driver quickly informed me that my regularly scheduled ride would not be arriving because I was traded away for two beers.

The pleasure of my company, it would seem, has no intrinsic value. Rather, I am a nuisance to be bartered to others for beer. What is more disturbing is that all of the bartering was done among some of my "closest" friends. Picking me up requires a grand system of negotiations, settlements and reparations at this point.

I am worth 2 beers, no more no less. I find it fitting that my particular currency in life should be beer. At least I wasn't traded away for Natty Light or the Beast. My solace lies in the quality of beer, it was Hefeweizen. How much of what could you be sold for?