My birthday started off pretty lousy. I was woken up way too early by a phone call, it was raining like crazy and the power went out. I figured this had to be some sort of horrible omen.

Everything started changing around mid-day. The rain cleared up, the power came back on, my beirut plans were coming together. All was well.

I wound up having dinner on Cyrus, which is always nice. Paying for dinner is overrated really. As per Adam's policy, you have to see what you can get for free on your birthday. My freebie came in the form of a pint of Guinness with a candle floating in it. Can't really ask for a better freebie than that; I do love Guinness.

Beirut took a while to get started, but it went well. we powered through about 30 beers in about an hour. I didn't get the full count on how many people played, but there were only about 3 or 4 that were playing all the time, so that means that the few of us had at least 6 beers each. I consider that a good accomplishment.

We topped it off the only way you can top off a night of Beirut, with La Burrita. Such was my 23rd birthday.

Returning to my temple for my cousin's Bar Mitzvah I found that it is not what I had once assumed it to be. It used to be extremely familiar and the base of all my religious efforts. Now it does not seem so close to my heart.

Perhaps I mistakenly assumed that my religious beliefs were formed by my temple and not one of the camps I went to for so long. I never thought this was the case before because I had differing practices than so many of the other campers. I can see now that I picked up more from camp than I thought I had. I barely recognized some of the tunes and almost none of the faces.

Another distinct possibility is the complete change of staff at the temple along with the complete transformation of the property. Staff makes a huge difference in how anyting is run, I guess even a temple. I suppose one just assumes a religious institution is immune to the changes brought about by people.

Now I find myself in religious limbo, no place feels like home anymore. I don't like services here on campus, I barely recognize services at my old temple and I can't go back to camp. You can't go back, you can never go back. Finding my place in the world is becoming easier with every old place that I eliminate.